Back to Europe!

I can’t believe that I have been home from London for almost 2 ½ months! Some days it seems like a distant dream that I had instead of a real experience and I need to stop and ask myself, “Wait! Did that really happen?” London was the greatest experience and I miss it dearly everyday.

For me, London was my chance to get away from drama (though I did manage to make/find some of my own at times), and try to find myself while experiencing a new city and culture. However, those 4 months were more than that for me. It was the first time that I was on my own. REALLY on my own. My parents were not a 4-6 hour drive away if something went wrong. The comfort of home was 3,500 miles away. My family and closest friends were accessible only through email or skype with a 5 hour time difference between us. I learned to rely on myself a little more and them a little less.

I learned that absence really can make the heart grow fonder and that close relationships/friendships with people don’t fade or disappear just because there is a great big ocean in between them; they get stronger and you learn to appreciate them more.

But most importantly, I learned that the person I want to be IS inside of me and I just need to let go of all the drama and bullshit and start taking care of and worrying about myself to find her. I learned that I am capable of being on my own and far from home because I know that I have family and friends behind me all the time if I ever need them.

With all that said, you can only imagine that coming home was a huge adjustment for me. Granted I was READY to come home. I had not seen my family and friends in 4 months and all I wanted to do was get back and see everybody and catch up! Not to mention that when I left I thought I was completely over the city setting and greatly looking forward to being back in the mountains! However, now I miss that city setting I was getting so tired of.

In London everything was pretty accessible at any time of the day! I miss being able to hop on the Tube at 10PM to grab drinks with the girls. I miss randomly deciding to head to Piccadilly Circus or Leicester Square to try and get tickets for a theater show that same night. I miss just walking around the city aimlessly. I miss exiting Westminster tube stop and having my breath taken away over and over again by the beauty of Big Ben sitting right in front of me. I miss the generally calm atmosphere despite the urban setting. I miss being in a place where I truly had the whole world at my fingertips constantly.

Things here in Roxbury are…well…a bit more dull. Everything is an hours drive at least and it is hard to do much spontaneously without prior planning and looking up details. There certainly is no boarding a plane to Venice or Ireland for the weekend or going to a late dinner in the theater district after a show and enjoying a good conversation with great friends before heading home. The closest I can get to that is going to Denny’s in Oneonta after a late movie showing, LOL!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the country setting and this town will always have my heart, but lately I feel as if I am tearing at walls trying to get out, to see something different, something bigger than this place, than myself. We’ll see where this feeling of wanting to leave is at graduation time in a few months, LOL! I think by then I will wish for nothing more than to just be able to stay in Roxbury with all of the familiar comforts, but for now, the traveling bug has bit me and I just want to GO!

Lucky for me, I get to go back sooner rather than later and I have decided to use my blog again to record my next trip to Europe! I don’t think I am taking my laptop and am unsure of the computer availability in the hotels but I promise to blog about my trip at some point, even if it ends up being after I get home!

I leave Thursday (the 16th) and come home on the 24th. This trip is to Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris and back to London! I am super excited but also kind of nervous!

As most of you know, for some reason I am more scared to fly this time than I was the very first time in January…weird right?

Perhaps it is all of the recent plane accidents I have been hearing about, or the fact that my best friend will not be there to make jokes, about the wings falling off mid-flight or the plane smacking into the tarmac really hard, to calm me down…?

I think maybe when I return to the states I should try what Mark Malkoff did to get over his fear of flying: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106498235! =)

As far as packing this time…I haven’t even started yet (are any of you surprised?)! I am just truly not worried about it and have no motivation to do it! Besides, it also provides a source of amusement for my parents who laugh at my hatred and procrastination of packing (God help me when I move out of the house!!). Anyway it will get done (most likely on Wednesday night!) and I am not too worried since it will be A LOT easier packing for this trip than it was to pack for a 4 month study-abroad trip!

Please send good wishes/prayers for safe flights and I will update as I can! Love you all!!!